


Eggsy Unwin's Guide to Treating Your Pet

by EggMuffin



Series: EggMuffin's FicWriMo [12]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Gen, JB is the most spoiled dog in all of England, Kind of fluffy, M/M, harry worries for eggsy's sanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8547964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggMuffin/pseuds/EggMuffin
Summary: Eggsy loves spoiling JB, even if he doesn't quite realise he's doing it.
EggMuffin's FicWriMo #12.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for a prompt by cutebabysloth on AO3 who asked: ''I was at the store a few days ago and I realized this year I spend very little on my own Halloween costume, but I splurged on my cat's costume. Then I looked in my cart at my cheap shampoo next to my cat's fancy oatmeal/aloe shampoo, my dogs' equally fancy shampoo, and I realized how often I don't even care about what I grab for myself, but I spoil her and the dogs quite a bit. So I was wondering if you would write Eggsy spoiling JB and not really realizing it right away.''

‘’A package came for you,’’ Harry says after Eggsy has taken his suitcase to the bedroom and kissed him hello (thoroughly). ‘’A rather large package.’’

‘’Neat, must be my Amazon order,’’ Eggsy replies as he raids the fridge, because he’s always ravenous when he returns home after longer missions. He’s just got back from a week long assignment in Düsseldorf and while it’s a beautiful city, he’s really glad to be home.

Harry has placed the package next to Eggsy’s desk in the office they now share. He’s right, it is pretty big. Surely Eggsy didn’t actually order that much stuff? He flicks open his pocketknife and slices the tape holding the box shut. Looking in and seeing that the box is pretty full, Eggsy guesses that he did maybe order more that he’d thought, but he doesn’t feel guilty about it.

Harry looks on curiously as Eggsy lifts out two large bags of dog food, three bottles of dog shampoo, a harness, an assortment of dog toys and two small dog jackets. Eggsy takes one of the bags of dog food and reads the instructions on the back carefully.

‘’I didn’t realise it was JB’s birthday,’’ Harry jokes, but Eggsy only hums in response, absorbed in his reading as he is.

\--

The next time they’re shopping in M&S, Harry loses Eggsy somewhere between the frozen food and toiletries. ‘’JB’s food,’’ Eggsy says and disappears in the direction of the pet aisle and Harry thinks nothing of it, until he’s gathered all of the items on their shopping list and Eggsy is nowhere to be seen. He goes looking and finds Eggsy still in the pet aisle, standing in front of a shelf of dog treats, holding a bag of dog food in one hand and his phone in the other, brow furrowed as he reads.

‘’What’s the matter?’’ Harry asks, fearing that Eggsy has received bad news.

‘’Chew toys,’’ Eggsy answers and shows Harry his screen; he seems to be reading a discussion on what’s the best type of chew toy for pugs.

Harry is relieved that everything is alright, but first the large Amazon order and now this? ‘’Darling, aren’t you going a bit overboard with this?’’ he asks. ‘’JB has enough toys.’’

‘’Yeah, but what if they’re the wrong type?’’

‘’Then I suggest you do the research at home, not in M&S,’’ Harry suggests lightly and places his hand on Eggsy’s back to steer him towards the check out. ‘’Kingsman has kennels for the dogs, maybe you can ask the people who work there.’’

Eggsy kisses Harry on the cheek. ‘’Brilliant idea, love.’’

\--

A week later, Eggsy comes home with a new dog bed that he sets up in the living room.

‘’What’s wrong with the old one?’’ Harry asks when he notices JB snoring on his new (very expensive-looking) bed.

‘’Nothing,’’ Eggsy replies without looking up from his tablet, ‘’I moved the old one to the office.’’

\--

Eggsy comes home from his mission in Melbourne with a new butterfly for Harry and a large chew toy for JB. Harry is glad to know that Eggsy hasn’t forgotten him entirely and proudly hangs up the butterfly as JB watches.

\--

In late November, Eggsy comes home with an advent calendar for dogs. He sets it up in the kitchen and tells Harry that JB will get one treat every day. Harry eyes the calendar with suspicion. ‘’You’re a dog,’’ he tells JB when Eggsy is in the shower. ‘’What on Earth do you need an _advent calendar_ for?’’

JB whines in response.

‘’Your owner has gone mad.’’

\--

Turns out that the advent calendar is only the beginning. Eggsy does his Christmas shopping little by little, buying gifts when he finds something that he thinks the recipient might enjoy. Harry knows that there is probably a pile of gifts for him stashed away somewhere, but he doesn’t look, because he’s a grown-up (that’s what he tells himself after he has spent 45 minutes looking without finding anything). There are growing piles of presents for Eggsy’s mother and sister, Merlin, Roxy and bits and bobs for various Kingsman staff, but by far the largest pile is for JB.

‘’Look, Harry,’’ Eggsy says excitedly one night and hands him a bag. ‘’I got JB a new collar.’’

Harry opens the bag and pulls out a dog collar with a _bowtie on it_.

‘’Eggsy,’’ he says and pauses, trying to be gentle about it. ‘’I think you need to stop. JB has seven different kinds of food in the kitchen, not to mention the advent calendar. We have two boxes of dog toys. There’s several different kinds of dog shampoo in the bathroom. He has two beds and you’ve bought him a third one for Christmas. JB must be the more spoiled than the Queen’s corgis!’’

Eggsy looks at the collar in Harry’s hand and then at JB, who’s snoring contentedly on his bed with a pile of chew toys next to him. In the kitchen there are indeed several kinds of dog food and treats and there’s a basket full of grooming products in the bathroom.

‘’You may be onto something here, Harry,’’ he says eventually. It’s just so easy to spoil JB, who has stayed with him throughout his training and first years as an agent and Harry’s recovery. And Daisy adores JB, who is very protective of her, so he’s earned every treat Eggsy has bought him.

‘’I understand, love,’’ says Harry, ‘’but maybe try to avoid the pet aisle for a while.’’

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [eggmuffinwrites](http://eggmuffinwrites.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I know that I'm a day behind, but I'll try to catch up in the next few days. Up next: fuck if I know.


End file.
